The Gentle Touch!

03/12/2012

I came across a website that discussed and encouraged being gentle with yourself.  As a guy I was reluctant to accept the counsel given because let’s face it..I’m a guy.  Guys by society’s standards are tough, and not supposed to be easily thrown off their horse so to speak.  I found for a good 35 years I have been really hard on myself, and for what?  What was I gaining from this kind of dynamic I had established with myself?  What is interesting is if we’re not guided well when we’re young we set ourselves up for this kind of experience with ourselves because we are so focused on being human doings and the being part gets lost in the dust at which point life chimes in on our experience,  taps us on the shoulder and reminds us that we are called human beings for a very specific reason.  There is something really artful to ‘being’.  I think of my acupuncture doctor or a healer friend of mine and I realize they have the being thing really down.  But I also know that it’s a conscious practice to be this way, which includes a gentle way of being with others and especially with themselves.  It is so in their countenance…love that word.  When I see someone who is calm, centred, balanced, peaceful and at any moment can laugh at whatever the moment is presenting them.  This is a tremendous art I feel.  When we are in a doing mode without the being awareness we act out of obligation, or feeling overly responsible for whatever it is we feel we have to do…as though this is status quo and we must maintain this way for ourselves.  For me there is no freedom in this.  People are so amazed at the miracles of people’s recovery and healing from various ailments and diseases. What is even more amazing is how we/they got ill in the first place.  We do or we have because we ‘think’ we will feel better in the doing or having.  Why not choose to feel better anyway by being gentle with ourselves? (My girlfriend suggested I add the necessary question mark after that sentence, I guess the period I typed wasn’t good enough…lol).  We can cut out the middle man by knowing we have the choice to think and feel better.  By doing this, we circumvent the unnecessary pressure we place on ourselves.

The predominant belief that life is hard and supposed to be difficult is a great untruth.  Just look at an innocent, smiling  baby.  Why is our perception of growth and success not in alignment with being joy filled for the sheer sake of having our hearts nourished and caressed with love.  We are too often worrying about others and thinking about how others are doing, thus where we go off in our thinking process is the need to compare ourselves.  We jump to confusions if we see someone in what we perceive to be a better place with more in their life.  The grass without exception is not greener with others, the lesson is to cherish how beautiful our own garden is and tend to it in the best way we know how.  To use another analogy, cook in your own kitchen using the best ingredients with the best recipe to make the best dish in the world.  Furthermore, stay out of other people’s kitchens.  Most importantly, it is vital to think and feel well about yourself in the process.  This practice in and of itself takes care of everything we want in terms of improving our life experience and the relationship we have with ourselves.  Once we’re gentle with ourselves, we soften up, then a door opens to our heart, and because the only main nutrient in the Universe is love…it flows in.  Wonderful!  We often hear, we need to love ourselves, we need to do this, or try that, or think positive.  This can be confusing and a lot of work figuring out the manual.  Choosing…actively choosing to be gentle and kind to yourself amidst all circumstances circumvents any need we may have to pursue so many different remedies to our misaligned vibration with the wondrous, beautiful, and splendid beings we are.  I will refrain from all the religious dogma that has been passed down through the ages that keeps us from freely experiencing our true, divine nature.  We best start with this knowing:  We are love expressing in a human body.  Love in and of itself…is perfect.  Once it is felt or let in, look out!

If we are being hard on ourselves or having this illusory perfectionist attitude, it’s important to know that this is learned behaviour.  We need to criticize the criticism we give ourselves and toss it out the window forever.   I feel it would be great for society as a whole to re-define our idea of success.  There is one main reason we fall into the trap of being a human doing:   We have a wound inside from never feeling love or whole inside and we try to outdo that feeling inside us through a perfectionist approach hiding behind our work ethic and accomplishments in an effort to protect us from the pain.  So we keep ourselves busy.   It’s okay, it’s normal.  If we want to be real,  authentic and truly at peace with ourselves in life,  the path is courageous self-reflection.  We best accurately assess why we are operating the way we are and then adjust, to allow ourselves alignment with our true nature and actual being.  You will know when you have reached that place within yourself.  When we have arrived at that gracious understanding, our doing will be so enjoyable, and we may find we are in the natural and beautiful flow of life.  Perhaps life has always held this positive intention for all to enjoy! 😉 Cheers!

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